The Blog
Thanksgiving has come and gone in Canada, but it’s here today for our neighbours to the south, and given today’s particularly bristling cold here in Ottawa, I thought it might be a good idea to start a gratitude list, or in Abraham-Hicks language: a gratitude rampage.
Gratitude rampages are good for a couple of things, in my mind. For starters, I can’t think of a reason why you wouldn’t want to remind yourself every day of all the amazing-ness that surrounds you- be it blessings, people, opportunities, the sunshine, the socks on your feet. Secondly, I think it’s a really interesting exercise in truly noting where your mind space is at. If you’re struggling and starting with the socks on your feet, it’s a good indicator that something is off in your day. Maybe you need a nap. And finally, gratitude rampages have the power to completely shift that funk (and if it doesn’t, then I’d highly recommend that nap). Even if you’re not in a funk, listing out all the things you’re grateful for a few minutes will automatically take your vibe higher. And when we vibe higher, we attract miracles. Miracles being: a new client, a new connection, a profound feeling of love, a better sleep, a mindblowing conversation, mindblowing sex, etc. You get the picture!
Here’s my small list for today. It isn’t anything glamorous or meaningful, but as you write, pay attention to what happens in your body. Maybe your heart gets lighter and bigger. Maybe you start to smile or laugh. Maybe something magic happens.
So without further ado, here’s my list: for this new computer and the means to have purchased one, for the work I do today, for feeling like writing and actually writing, for the juicy yoga class I had this morning, for the opportunity to receive yoga, for my meeting yesterday to discuss a juicy new Reiki volunteer program, for the women who attended my first reiki share last night and took a chance and a leap in practicing for the first time, for Reiki in general– like, A LOT, for the blood and belonging course that I’m in and the opportunity to explore my ancestry, for my roots, for my mother, for my father, for grief, for laughter, for New Girl, for the internet, for access to drinking water everywhere, for my journal, for myself, for my body that carries me above and beyond where I want to go, for high speed blenders, for coffee and eggs and just breakfast in general and all the choices I have, for choice.
For the puppy that was born this week that will be coming home to my house. for my house. for my bedroom that is so cozy. for slippers, for a surprise free lunch!, for warm boots, for the sunshine on a cold day, for sweaters, for healing, for my own healing, for my own limiting beliefs and fears, for procrastination, for doing the work and showing up, for community, for my big glowing heart, for expansion, for headphones, for music, for my partner, for cuddles, for night socks, for taking risks and applying for podcasts this week, for my dear dear friends, for the supportive environment I’ve cultivated dearly for the last few years, for feeling at home in my body, for turkey, for turkey mixed with gravy mixed with cranberry, for more and more opportunities coming my way as I continue to open and open and open…
And there you have it. Give it a try, and report what you experienced if you’d like!
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How we manage our emotions today are ghosts of what we were taught.
I swear, living next to an elementary school is one of the best things that’s happened to me. Despite the midnight snow clearing and periodic school bells, every time I step outside of my house I’m greeted with a new lesson, which sometimes involves crying.
…. Be weird, no one cares. This includes walking in circles alone and mumbling to one’s self.
…. Run as fast as you can, feel the wind in your hair and laugh and laugh and laugh.
… Make up the rules as you go.
Today as I walked by, a young girl was standing by herself, abandoned on the recess field, pressed against the fence. As I got closer, I saw a teacher approaching, asking her to join the rest of the class. “I’m crying”, she responded, pressing further into the fence.
Her teacher’s response? A flat “Well, you can walk and cry. Come on. We have to get inside.”
I was horrified. My first instinct was to judge the shit out of that teacher. She shouldn’t have to cry in front of others? What if her face is red? Or her eyes? What a MONSTER. She didn’t even get down to her level and ask her what had happened? Given her a hug?
And then I got to thinking…
What should the teacher have done? Should she have stopped everything for this child to cry and talk about all the ways she was hurting? Sequester her in a corner where she can continue to feel ashamed of her tears? Or can she process her emotions on the walk, arrive a little bleary eyed, and realize that just because she was hurting, it doesn’t mean she needs to be ashamed.
She can walk and cry. And she can know that she has a few minutes with her teacher, walking hand-in-hand, to talk about what happened and how she’s feeling. She can be offered support that doesn’t dramatize or push aside her reaction. She can arrive, smiling yet tender. Cared for, seen, heard, and over it, or still in it. Without shame, without blame. And just like that, she’s off on her next adventure.
When did we forget that crying is natural and that emotions are safe? Perhaps we didn’t forget, perhaps it was taught out of us. How do we treat ourselves and others around us when we’re feeling deep grief or sadness or rejection? Do we feel powerful? Seen? Heard? HEALED?
Instead of stuffing, filing or pushing our feelings away. Instead of blaming and shaming our feelings away, what other choices do we have? None of these pathways {reject or regret} satisfy the core hurt. So what can we do instead?
We can walk and cry.
