The Blog
I’m a firm believer in things happening for a reason, destiny, and being open to pathways that are in my best interest– especially the ones that make no sense whatsoever.
I used to give all of my power over to this part of the Life | Death | Life cycle: surrender.
“I’ll get what I am meant to” “If it’s meant to be, it’ll happen this way” or “I might as well not ask for anything because I’ll be given whatever is meant for me anyway” or “I cannot possibly be smart enough to know what’s in my best interest, so I’ll leave it to the fates”. Or better yet “I’d really like this thing but you know, the universe knows best so let’s just kinda sit back and see what happens”.
I thought that this was powerful surrender and would create space for brilliant things would pour into my life. But what it really looked like was me giving away all my power and instead of growing trust in the Universe and what was to come, I was incrementally picking apart my ability to trust myself and my choices and desires. I became very good at surrendering to life (a very very good skill!) but had unwittingly stomped out my soul’s creative fire.
You see, all parts of the Life | Death | Life cycle require
active participation.
I can’t live the depth of my humanness and a life brimming with purpose without stoking the
fire of creation through asking for what I want + taking action.
A brilliant client of mine states this simply. She has made oaths with the universe around her desires which might go something like this: “I desire a healthy, loving partnership in my life. Send it my way and I declare that I will take every opportunity and do all the work required to have it.
She puts it out there, and she follows the breadcrumbs and takes the action. She activatesher desire and through this process, easily co-creates the experience she wants. Notice that she doesn’t put any rules around how it should come her way or what it might look like when it does aside from the broadest desire: to feel good.
What are the things you truly want in your life? Have you asked for them? Have you held up your side of the bargain? What more can you do?
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I think this is super interesting and something I’ve been ruminating on a lot. I know we can hold love and fear at the same time. I think we’re capable of being scared AND not letting that mess up our attraction point. For me (at this moment, I can change my mind at any moment 😉 ) love and fear aren’t on opposite ends, but a circle. Feeling fear is part of our human experience, just as love is- they need one another, we need the contrast.
Closer to the question, I believe that if we listen to our intuition and bodies, we know when that fear is productive vs destructive. And we know when we’re hurting ourselves and others. I don’t like being guided by fear, but sometimes it’s the journey. And sometimes it is required to work through our trauma and process. And in terms of love, I think that being in relationships of intimacy with someone else is one of the most fucked up things we do on this planet but it’s also a MASSIVE desire for everyone I’ve ever met. It’s two humans smashing all of our humanness together, and it’s fucking beautiful.
And because of this, I don’t know a love without some fear.
But I do know that taking full responsibility for the ish we can see in our lives- the trauma, the drama, etc- is the best thing for my attraction point. And that some of that trauma can be worked out by me, in my bed by myself. But some of it needs to be taken onto the field. There were/are parts of me that could only be healed in relationship. And each of my relationships have been very reflective of that. Note that it wasn’t about working out my issues ON someone, but with myself in couple with someone, as respectfully and responsible as possible.
When we don’t deal with our stuff, we’re rejecting ourselves and we attract others that will reject our wholeness as well. It’s real reckless for our souls.
I think the responsibility part changes our attraction point. You can still be afraid, but you love yourself because you choose to be with you, and the person you bring in with that vibration will too.
I think believing fully in love doesn’t mean living fearlessly but courageously, as you were discussing above. And courage means being like “welp, this is what I’ve got, I’m gonna give it everything I have and feel it all and let’s see what happens.” Again and again and again.
